Simón
Bolívar
Letter to General Francisco de Miranda
Caracas, July 12,1812
My General:
Having exhausted all my physical
and emotional strength, where can I find the courage to pick up my pen and
write to you now that the fortress of Puerto
Cabello has fallen out of my control? Because of this
action, my spirit is crushed much more than the spirit of the province itself,
which has the hope of seeing its salvation and freedom reborn from the remnants
we still possess. It is clear that those people are the most devoted to the
country's cause, and they are the most opposed to Spain's tyranny. Despite the
cowardice with which that city's residents acted in the end, I am sure that
they have not stopped entertaining these same feelings. They thought that our
cause was lost because our army was nowhere close to them. The enemy has gained
very little from the guns we had there, since most of them were thrown into the
brush by the soldiers who carried them, and the rest were most useless. In
short, the enemy will hardly get two hundred rifles all together.
I trust that you will be kind
enough to tell me what is to become of the officers who have accompanied me. They
are very good men, and, in my view, there are none better than they in Venezuela. The
loss of Colonel Jalón is irreparable. He alone equals
an entire army.
General, my heart is so depressed
that I do not feel I have the courage to command even one soldier. My vanity
forced me to think that my desire to succeed and my burning zeal for my country
would help me replace the talents I lacked as a commander. Therefore, I beg you
either to place me under the orders of an officer of the lowest rank or to let
me have several days to pull myself together and to regain the confidence I
lost when I lost Puerto Cabello.
To this I should add the condition of my health, for, after thirteen nights
without sleep and in extreme distress, I find I am on the edge of a nervous
breakdown. I will begin at once to write the detailed report about the acts of
the troops that I commanded and the disasters that destroyed the city of Puerto Cabello in order
to justify your selection of me and to clear my honor in the public's opinion
of me. General, I did my duty, and, had only one soldier remained, I would have
fought the enemy. But they deserted me through no fault of mine. I did
everything in my power to hold them back and force them to save their country,
but, alas, they country has been lost at my hands.
Simón Bolívar